After I married, things did not get better between my husband and I. He had ruff sex with me and never a loving word. I am so ashamed to this day that I did everything I could to lose this unloved baby but did not have another abortion. In my mental state my pregnancy was hard and sad for the most part, I truly loved my child but could not share tender moments in my marriage about this beautiful thing that was happening to me. A CHILD, MY CHILD After the abortions and my sins God still blessed me… I understand my daughter loneliness when her husband was at sea for 6 months while she was pregnant plus, I had this cold husband that did not help me at all emotionally as well. I loved my baby more than I understood then. OMG, what a beautiful thing be able to see, more than, then, on in life after Jesus makes all clear. Difficult life but worth being alive because Of Salvation.
We had many barbeques and they all came to them mainly not to be proudful because people loved me. Still, amazed of some people hearts.
Loving me is not easy for many people. I am doing better not after I realized God’s love is so very big. Agape, real, true, deep, forever and more.
When I lived then with my mental illnesses that became worse s time went by and life harder. I was just walking without any idea I was, by Faith alone.
Wow, how other dark the days after I came to America for many years. I decided to come to America and raise my child away from my abuser, just in case. I left a great Job as a Supervisor in the Communication office that had many other duties. besides making calls also by Satellite and for the employees of the small base in La Maddalena Sardinia.
I was in Italy before marrying then after marrying when I found out that my husband was having an affair I had my job back then the promotion later. I left a life where I still did not realize I was hurting so very bad to start a new harder road. Wow, God saved me in many ways and times,