Hi Pat,

Why do people get angry? I believe we get angry when our sense of “right” is violated. When this happens, it can lead us to one of two types of anger:

  • Definitive anger: when someone has wronged us.
  • Distorted anger: when things didn’t go our way.

Much of the anger people experience is distorted anger. The traffic moved slowly. Our spouse didn’t do things the way we wanted. This kind of anger, however, can still be very intense and must be processed. Ask yourself, “Would it be helpful if I shared my anger with someone? In sharing it, might I improve things for everyone? If not, should I simply let it go?”

Whatever you do, do something positive. Don’t hold your anger inside. Anger was meant to a visitor, not a resident. Processing your anger in a positive way will lead you toward freedom, emotional health, and relational stability.

Here are your practical suggestions for speaking the love languages this week:

Words of Affirmation:

Why not pick up some sidewalk chalk and have fun with it? For example: if you want to show love or appreciation for someone who has taken his or her car to work, write a big “VIP Parking” in on the driveway where they park (add hearts if it’s a romantic relationship). Then write out affirming words all along the path they are likely to follow once they get out of the car. By the time they reach the house, his or her love tank will be full!

ACTS OF SERVICE:

True leadership requires a willingness to serve others—either one’s customers or colleagues. If there is someone who appears frustrated or overwhelmed at work, ask them if you can be of assistance. Have a good attitude, and help the way they want you to help, not just the way you think you should help. This is achieved by clarifying exactly what they need or expect from you prior to helping.

RECEIVING GIFTS:

Does your loved one enjoy the writings of a certain author? If so, pick up a book for this person at a local book store. If you can find a classic, autographed, or authentic vintage edition at a used bookstore or yard sale . . . even better!

QUALITY TIME:

What better way to spend quality time than to take a vacation or road trip with someone you love? During your trip, be intentional to explore each other’s feelings, dreams, goals, and perspectives. Ask questions and then really listen. Turn off the phone and be in the moment.

PHYSICAL TOUCH:

If your spouse speaks the love language of Physical Touch, consider starting “Project Touch.” The goal? Touch your way to a better marriage by finding more ways to touch each other every day. This could be sexual, non-sexual, or both. Get creative and have fun!

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