“The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life.” Proverbs 15:4
Do you enjoy teasing your wife? When you’re with friends, do you occasionally reveal an embarrassing secret about your husband?
One key to building trust is to take great care not to hurt or embarrass those we love. Some information is private and should remain so. For one partner to reveal family secrets indiscriminately breaks the couple’s bond of loyalty and violates trust.
Just as important as the words we don’t say, however, are those we do. Men, especially, are often reluctant to share feelings and fears with their wives, yet openness fosters trust and intimacy. Sharing thoughts is vital to a healthy, secure marriage. How can a wife feel safe or valued if she’s left guessing about what her husband is really thinking and feeling?
Along the same lines, if you’re in charge of the family finances, and you’ve accidentally or foolishly depleted the bank account, don’t hide it—let your spouse know. If someone makes a pass at you at work, tell your partner, even if it’s uncomfortable to do so. As you work together to find the best solution for problems like these, you’ll grow closer.
Just between us…
- Are you comfortable with the amount and nature of teasing in our relationship?
- Do I share my thoughts with you as much as you’d like?
- Do our words “bring healing” to each other?
- How can I help you share your feelings?
Dear God, let the words of our mouths always be true and full of grace. May our words bring healing and encouragement and draw us closer together. Amen.
- From Night Light For Couples, by Dr. James & Shirley Dobson
Copyright © 2000 by James Dobson, Inc. All rights reserved.