Additional Scripture Readings: Matthew 18:15; Ephesians 4:25–27
When you find yourself fighting with someone and you want to stop, you must start at the beginning. First, you need to figure out what you’re fighting about.
- Each of you should verbalize your view of the problem. What’s the issue?
- Step into the other person’s shoes for a minute and identify how they would define the problem.
- You can combine these two definitions until you come up with a mutually agreed-upon definition for the conflict you’re facing. Sometimes it even helps to put the definition in writing to make it a bit more objective.
- Once the problem is defined, list your options for solving it.
So often we lose the cause of a conflict in the emotion of the moment. Most conflicts can be handled with the application of care-filled logic and reasoning.
Resolution and forgiveness are often forged on the anvil of reason and compassion. Unreasonable disagreements become reasonable conflicts when you take the time to figure out what it is you’re fighting about.