The other sad side of my trip.

My father will be saved because God is merciful and hears prayers.

This sad 😢😥 trip was a reminder and partial healing Wich will be completed soon.

It brought me back to the orphanage where I was from my age of less of 3 years old to my first marriage. Unfortunately it also it also brought back all the pain. The phical emotional 💔 pain to my sexual abuse from the age if 13 until 17 years old. The pain vivid and tears streaming as I relived my childhood. God reopen my mind and heart to that little girl terrified of her stepfather as I was mentally ill since the age if 6 or even longer. Perfection was expected from me as I was brought up very strict and could not misure up, ever. My perfectionist father caused me to deny myself fir many years until my marriage to a much older man that phsically and emotionally made made me into a woman I was not. We had our good times but the fear. Emotional and physical. I thank God he kept me sane even in my illnesses he is healing a bit every day. I shad a lit of tears and felt again as the little child and teenager that was always afraid to say or make even a small thing considered wring by my father. As I relived my life I thanked God for His Mercy and love. The bad times were many and as I spent time with my father I saw his love that was real but the pain he gave me was stronger. I chose to remember the good time and forgave him again and again.

A small window into my trip. I enjoyed the visit to my relatives a lot where the atmosphere was filled with love. We celebrated my birthday and dad ordered my favorite ❤️ cake. The love and the sad mingled together we’re not new to me. I choose the good even if the Bad were a lot more.

May the Lord save his soul.

I will always love my father and pray for his Salvation. He is a very angry and sad man. List my mom 8 years ago and had a bad childhood himself. I forgave and forgive.

Thank you if you did this ling post. Any comments?

Love you all in Christ Jesus.

My prayer for you 🙏 in the Spirit of God that is the only true happiness and joy.

Later,

Pat. Child of God, he little girl and grown woman.

God loves me and this trip was meant for

2 thoughts on “The other sad side of my trip.

  1. Dear Pat (Child of God), Re-living, even in our minds, the bad memories of our past will always show us the broken, painful effects of Sin. (That of others, but mostly that of ourselves.) Forgiveness. That, is where we begin, with God to LIVE, LEARN, and SEE ALL “in a new light”, so to speak. Jesus alone, by His grace, shows and teaches us how to pick up the broken pieces of our lives and start anew. I know of the “Time Warp” like effect memories have. But change is both, “for the better and challenging”. GOD HAS BEEN SO GOOD TO US “EVEN THEN”. But especially NOW! You needed the visit to see your father. God WILL take care of the rest. And by “rest” I mean the Peace of Mind and assurance that all will be okay. Have a safe trip back home, with the prayers of many who truly love you. We welcome you back and share in your memories… the good, the bad, and the ugly. Remember always, You are loved! Timothy.

    Liked by 1 person

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