I wrote a comment to a bipolar Blogger and since there are many bipolar people on blogs, I decided to rewrite it with some editing for anyone that suffers and fights this illness to try to comfort them.
here it goes,
Sweetie, I can call you that because I believe that an older person can say that, lol.
Its sound as you have what I have that is called Bipolar 2 rapid cycle tell your Doctor.
I suffered tremendously but did find in God Jesus the strength. I take meds and still get highs and low episodes but very rarely for years I tried on my own and could not help myself.
I understand the pain you have.
For years even after I was born again, I struggled and it was very difficult
I decided to get on meds because my lows and my highs were truly bad and I used to hurt myself even tried suicide but, by the Grace of God I did not succeed.
I was not a Christian yet but the Lord used my own illness, my high to keep me up all night. a doctor later in life told me that if I went to sleep I would have never woken up again, but God IS so good and deep inside, I did not truly want to die. I took 12 mg of Xanax and then started writing all of my family asking forgiveness for what I thought I did. Kill myself.
My advise since I have 3 mental illnesses and trauma, been sexually abused from the age of 13 until 17. After becoming a Christian, 21 years ago(, I went through a lot) but, one thing I did was hang on to the Lord as you are or will do, and seek Him daily by reading the Bible worship Him with music and talking to Him.
One day after years of desperation I became angry at Him and told Him I did not believe in Him anymore because the pain of my lows was too much to live with. After screaming at Him instead of fire and brimstone, I felt such peace for 2 whole days in a much better, different kind of high that it was not possible with my illness. It was so very different and I felt that before in my life during hard times. This time, I realized that He truly loved me that, He was not like the man that abused me and the consequences of this deep trauma.
Please, hang on the Lord whoever you are, girl boy, woman or man,
go to HIM and thank Him for all the good things in your life as most likely you already do. Sorry so long. If you want you can send me an email.
I pray almost every night for my followers that are God’s since my Blog is for Him,
God come through for me and helps me come back to reality. I will pray for you tonight and the Holy Spirit will bring you to my mind, I know that. I am not a “crazy” Christian, LOL just a simple woman. Write notes or journals if you think you can. I cannot do that so I am writing what I hope someday will be a book to help others.
You are not alone, many sufferer of this illness and worse and, give up but, continue to hang on your Faith.
That is a very important thing to do, it will help you more than medications. I used to get sick lot on meds, now, I take them but is only by the Grace of God that I am healing.
Trust in the Lord, Lean, not on your own understanding… and He will bring you through it.
Love you in Christ Jesus.
Pat, child of God.