I will be ok, again

There is almost silence just the rain and a gentle wave sound from my phone. You know, those little widgets that help you sleep but, again, my mind regardless of medications to help you sleep and my favored sounds, is still awake.

I have not posted since a few minutes after midnight hoping to force my mind to obedience but the mania is still dictating what I should be doing and that, is not sleeping.i just took more xanax to try to knock myself out. If I don’t sleep tonight I will start to be more manic and will eventually crash into a depression. I pray and trust in the Lord to come trought for me again and at this point so, I will lay down again knowingly that Jesus is ready to help me again, I love the Lord that has kept me safe since childhood and doesn’t allow me to suffer outside the limitations He imposes. Has been a long time since this sleep deprivation has lasted this long, almost 3 days now.

I feel ok, since I finally realized how much I am loved, I have no fear just a bit annoyed. I’m physically tired but my mind is awake. I know I will go to sleep soon because I m close to my limit and the Father will by His Spirit put my mind to rest.

Just wanted to vent a little. Lol

If you read this silly post, thank you and God bless you. I will lay back and wait for Jesus to put me to sleep again.

God is good,



Child if God.

7 thoughts on “I will be ok, again

  1. My Dear Sister Pat Veen (truly a Child of God), I woke up this morning struggling with my faith. All of us, have those moments. You seem to be joining me here. Remember, my friend, IF JESUS DID RAISE THE DEAD AND CURE EVERYTHING, HE WILL HELP YOU! When I feel that I, family, or friend’s have “reached the very end”, so to speak. Jesus will see me through just that! God Bless You! Timothy

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    1. DEAR TIMOTHY, my brother, I was just very tired that is why I had a bit of impatience. I did not sleep for almost 3 nights. I am OK now thank God that Loves me and you. Do not question your Faith. I know you have a strong faith and the enemy will do and whisper in your ears all kind of lies. You inspire me, my friend, God loves you and I do in Christ Jesus as well. You can count on me and I will pray with my husband for you tonight. Stay strong because HE will NEVER leave you like that for long because HE loves you. strong.

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      1. Having recently loss both my Mother and my over 20+ years friend and roommate; I was shaken when a dear friend, so I think, recently died. Sherita Benn was only 35 years old! If I am wrong then someone tell me one way or another! But I didn’t know her family, so how could anyone tell me? Anyhow, she is and always will be with Jesus. God Bless You, Her, and Everyone! Timothy.

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        1. I am truly sorry about the loss of your mother. I went through losing her and my real father in 10 months time. I understand the pain. Was she saved? I know my mom was, in the end, saved because the change in her behavior, she became sweet but was on a chair and could not eat on her on anymore. She suffered terribly. My real father that I loved also died and I hope he was saved. Every year I went to visit my family in Italy for 12 years straight and witness to them by behavior and talking about Jesus love. Your pain is great also in losing your friend without knowing it. Dear Timothy, I will pray for you every night for a while I pray often for my followers but a few stand in my heart like you. The Holy Spirit will comfort you just open your pain wide, cry it out often and allow Him to heal you. It takes a little time, and their death will never be forgotten but the pain because of God’s love for us will subside. I love you in Christ very much if there is anything I can do for you please, let me know, Prayers is a given. Thank you for opening your heart to me.

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