There is almost silence just the rain and a gentle wave sound from my phone. You know, those little widgets that help you sleep but, again, my mind regardless of medications to help you sleep and my favored sounds, is still awake.
I have not posted since a few minutes after midnight hoping to force my mind to obedience but the mania is still dictating what I should be doing and that, is not sleeping.i just took more xanax to try to knock myself out. If I don’t sleep tonight I will start to be more manic and will eventually crash into a depression. I pray and trust in the Lord to come trought for me again and at this point so, I will lay down again knowingly that Jesus is ready to help me again, I love the Lord that has kept me safe since childhood and doesn’t allow me to suffer outside the limitations He imposes. Has been a long time since this sleep deprivation has lasted this long, almost 3 days now.
I feel ok, since I finally realized how much I am loved, I have no fear just a bit annoyed. I’m physically tired but my mind is awake. I know I will go to sleep soon because I m close to my limit and the Father will by His Spirit put my mind to rest.
Just wanted to vent a little. Lol
If you read this silly post, thank you and God bless you. I will lay back and wait for Jesus to put me to sleep again.
God is good,
Child if God.