By Carlos Santiago
One day, I told my wife I felt God calling me to quit my job and go into full-time ministry.

“I don’t think you heard that right,” she said.

I was confused. I tried to explain, but the more I did, the more she dug in.

“If you want to do ministry, go ahead, but leave me out of it. And don’t quit your job—we have a mortgage.”

I’ve been a Christian for a long time, so I know the drill. As the husband, the spiritual leadership is my responsibility.

Was I supposed to “assert my spiritual authority” and quit without her blessing? What would that do to her? Our marriage? What others see about Christ through us?

As I struggled to lead my wife in a direction she didn’t want to go, I decided to look closer at the leadership style of Jesus.

Jesus faced resistance, and even though “all authority on heaven and earth” (Matthew 28:18) was given to Him, He never ordered us to follow. Instead, He was patient and kind. He didn’t brag about His special calling or coerce us in any way. He put our needs first.

What my wife needed most was to hear from God, not me.

So I tried to make it easy for her to do that. I encouraged her to make friendships with mature Christian women, attend Bible studies, and go on women’s retreats.

In the meantime, I did ministry work on the weekends while making preparations to one day leave my job.

It took a few years, but my wife eventually heard God’s call, too.

We were then able to enter ministry the same way we started marriage—as partners.
In this episode of FamilyLife Today®, Dennis Rainey encourages men to intentionally lead their families.

THE GOOD STUFF: Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)


ACTION POINTS: How can you help your spouse hear more clearly from God? Do they need encouragement? Help with chores? A night without kids? Ask them. Then pick one thing you can do this week and do it.






View today’s reading at Bible Gateway

Matthew 27:27-50

The Soldiers Mock Jesus

27 Then the governor’s soldiers took Jesus into the Praetorium and gathered the whole company of soldiers around him. 28 They stripped him and put a scarlet robe on him, 29 and then twisted together a crown of thorns and set it on his head. They put a staff in his right hand. Then they knelt in front of him and mocked him. “Hail, king of the Jews!” they said. 30 They spit on him, and took the staff and struck him on the head again and again. 31 After they had mocked him, they took off the robe and put his own clothes on him. Then they led him away to crucify him.

The Crucifixion of Jesus

32 As they were going out, they met a man from Cyrene, named Simon, and they forced him to carry the cross. 33 They came to a place called Golgotha (which means “the place of the skull”). 34 There they offered Jesus wine to drink, mixed with gall; but after tasting it, he refused to drink it. 35 When they had crucified him, they divided up his clothes by casting lots. 36 And sitting down, they kept watch over him there. 37 Above his head they placed the written charge against him: this is jesus, the king of the jews.

38 Two rebels were crucified with him, one on his right and one on his left. 39 Those who passed by hurled insults at him, shaking their heads 40 and saying, “You who are going to destroy the temple and build it in three days, save yourself! Come down from the cross, if you are the Son of God!” 41 In the same way the chief priests, the teachers of the law and the elders mocked him. 42 “He saved others,” they said, “but he can’t save himself! He’s the king of Israel! Let him come down now from the cross, and we will believe in him. 43 He trusts in God. Let God rescue him now if he wants him, for he said, ‘I am the Son of God.’” 44 In the same way the rebels who were crucified with him also heaped insults on him.

The Death of Jesus

45 From noon until three in the afternoon darkness came over all the land. 46 About three in the afternoon Jesus cried out in a loud voice, “Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?” (which means “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”).

47 When some of those standing there heard this, they said, “He’s calling Elijah.”

48 Immediately one of them ran and got a sponge. He filled it with wine vinegar, put it on a staff, and offered it to Jesus to drink. 49 The rest said, “Now leave him alone. Let’s see if Elijah comes to save him.”

50 And when Jesus had cried out again in a loud voice, he gave up his spirit.

New International Version (NIV)

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