When a Season Feels Suffocating
By Dr. Joe and Cindi Ferrini
Our 5-year-old special needs son had endured vomiting and seizures for days on end. It had the two of us frazzled. Tired. Frustrated. Wiped out.
When we walk through these times, most of us tend to think we’re doing okay. But what we don’t see in our own marriage is easier to notice with other couples: lifeless faces, discouraged conversations, hair-triggered annoyance, outright anger with the big issues.
We wished we could say our marriage was always closer to thriving. But seasons of drought were real, consuming.
The hopeful part: If this happens to you, it doesn’t mean your marriage is over. It means your marriage needs life!
In repeated dry seasons of raising three kids, we began to realize the importance of dividing and conquering in ways that would allow each of us to get to do things inside and outside of marriage that were fun and life giving.
We took up dance lessons and golf. (We’re still bad at golf, but it got us out of the house and got us laughing.) Sometimes it was swapping Saturdays just getting to sleep in.
We poured life into each other with words, too, through gratitude and affirmation. We’d chisel out weekly time together: watching a show, talking over coffee, snagging a date.
Don’t mistake your marriage’s dry season for a death sentence.
The good stuff: Whoever brings blessing will be enriched, and one who waters will himself be watered. (Proverbs 11:25)
Action points: Take a few moments to discuss with your spouse what one to two things would bring you life and how they could help to make that happen. Then ask them the same. Try to make at least one of your discussion points happen this week for each other.