I am sharing something about myself I am writing in a memoir. I need help from a Christian writer possibly. this is a tiny part.

After I came to America I,  in order to feed my child, I knew nothing about welfare or anything as I was new to America. I spent years go -go dancing than stripping and dancing until, after many things happened, my boyfriend and I, ended up on the west coast of Florida from Virginia Beach to be closer to Kim my daughter that lived in south Florida. My life and drinking started to get worse and my heart and mind could not find peace, not even with the man that loved me. One day I found out my mother had Cancer and I was devastated, I  made a deal with the God I had ignored for many years and asked Him to save my mom’s life and I would change mine… All that happened I wrote earlier but, after spending 3 months in Italy my mom was much better and God healed her of the Cancer, A Miracle as even her Surgeon said it was. He told us my mom’s life was in God’s hand and he just was the handler, a believer… I was back at home in Florida and put aside my promise. One night I was very drunk dancing in a club. I saw a man at the side of the bar in a less lighted area. When I came off stage for a break, as I started to walk to the bar, the man emerged from the darkness. I know now he was an Angel he told me in a soft kind voice, Lady, you are burned out. At that moment I felt convicted and ashamed like never before.  left the club earlier and had a passage from the bar from one of my regular fans. When we got to my trailer where my now husband was waiting, he started to pull at what little clothes I had on. I pushed him away and ran to my home.

When I arrived and started to feel normal, I realized I had cheated God and my guilt became unbearable. I started to cried and after I felt a new peace coming down to me, I finally silently Gave my life to Jesus. My husband now boyfriend then, was saved as well. The feeling of joy and peace took my breath away. It was wonderful as my day in the orphanage Church. The Holy Spirit was in me and I knew I did not know what it was but I knew was from God. I started to open the Bible that my parents gave me. The strange thing is that they still had it.

I want is so much to be near my child and started to pray. I was sitting on a chair close to the canal where we were living and I opened my Bible for the first time.

6 months before we went to see the Kids and dreamily looked at places that we wanted to see just in case God brought us there. We saw a little mother in law apartment attached to a home on the Canal in Fort Lauderdale off 441 and  Marathon street. We left and my heart was in pain because I knew we could never afford 600 dollars a month and without a job, Toby could never make so much money to cover that. While we were there, Toby put a few applications for companies that put water pipes on the roads a job he did on the west coast.

We went home and I started reading the Bible from Genesis, a big step. The Bible was in Italian ad it was not as difficult to read then in English.

I was at peace but missed my girl and her family.

I spent a month or so reading the Bible when the phone rang. I answered it and surprise, God did His first big Miracle and Toby was given the job in a small company. I was ecstatic, thanking God for His goodness and this chance to be close to my family after 1 and half years on the west coast, difficult time for us.

We found our selves in ft  Lauderdale without a penny to our name just our small belongings. I finally since I was in touch a little with my real father, long story, (smiling) I called him and asked for help. He did and we were able to get a used car. We were looking for a home, something inexpensive and I asked Toby to bring me to see the house where the apartment was located just to look and see if there was a car in the driveway that was not the people that live there I saw only theirs and I prayed and almost ran to their door with some hope. You can imagine how I felt when we found out that it was still available.  Praise God, HE is truly a good Father.

The couple that lived there liked us and said we could rent it. what an amazing God we have.

I was not getting sick for a while now. We barely had enough money for rent gas and food but with a newfound renewed faith we moved in. It was a beautiful spot on the canal where we shared a Gardner with our landlady. She had plants everywhere. The bedroom had a double door. The kitchen was small but it was just the 2 of us. In a little place in the living room kitchen, we put a couch my daughter gave us. There was a small table with 4 chairs but I felt in Paradise,

Toby worked for a few months and  helped by cleaning boats and a houses for a few months Toby came home one day and told me he found out there was a job opening at the town of Davie  Utilities but it was almost impossible to get a job there so, I said to him, we pray for it and God will give you the job. I don’t know how but I had no doubt God would come through. A couple weeks went by and Toby was called by for an interview at the town. I prayed and prayed with my heart like never before and a few days later he went by the office where he had put an application and he was hired. God IS so so good!. I cried in thanksgiving and told my daughter that was surprised and wondering what that Jesus thing was about.

Toby started to work there. I found the courage to call my real father that came back into my life a when we were on the West Coast.. then, Toby and I were reading the Bible every day. he also was saved, a small trailer, My father was very rich. He decided to help us. Then is when we moved to Davie less than 10 minutes from Toby’s Job. we had some problems the first day we moved into a pipe broke and the kitchen and bedroom were flooded. I did not care, God loved me. Eventually, I started my downward spiral with my illnesses, again. I went finally to see a psychiatrist to get some help because I was going to look after my 2 grandchildren and I was diagnosed with 3 mental illnesses and put on meds. I spent the next 3 years in the spirit as I drove the older child to school then my youngest as well to kindergarten after a while. When we were first in our apartment I was looking after my granddaughter from 3 months of age to one year, before medications at the end of this after we moved in the trailer I could not handle the situation any longer and my daughter put Emily in daycare because she worked.

I wanted to look after the kids and that was the reason I started taking meds and also the fact that I would get sick, on the floor in tears and we burst of anger. hurt myself a lot. It was the hardest time in m life but, I never gave up on Jesus and Jesus NEVER gave up on me.. He was by His Spirit walking me through it all. It took a long time to stabilize me but every day I would pick up Cody from school and finally got my little Emily back, She was now almost 2 and a half. I forgot the best thing(laughing) Toby and I started to go to church at Calvary chapel before it was a real church building. After a year, before we moved in the trailer we were told by a Pastor that we were in sin and either we would marry after 6 months of celibacy, and premarital school or stop living together,  I decided to marry Toby.

He moved from the apartment into our landlady boat on the canal without a fan Poo baby!!

After six months of going to church every Week, We were married by a pastor that was marring us as his first marriage. I am sorry to say I forgot his name but there should be records at the Church and NOW, today Jan 7, 2019, I decided to look him up hoping he was still in the area possibly at Calvary Chapel.

another miracle when my daughter seeing all that happened to us came to our home asking for prayer for her husband trying to get a job at AT&T. Needless to say, he got the job. In the trailer I was happy the time I was clear in my head and lived the best I could by God’s Grace with myself and the illnesses, I am healed now just oversensitive,(laughing

After my son in law got his job at AT&T, they moved away to Georgia where he had some family

I became ill for a long period of time but God Never left me, I never gave up on Believing that God would come through for me again. We decided at one point to try to move to Georgia to be near my daughter,. We did not pray about it just left decided on our own. Toby could not find a good job so, we decided o go back to Florida but without a job, again praying for God Favor. When we came back God gave us favor again. My father bought us another trailer. Toby and I had very little money left when I asked him to go and see if they would hire him for another job, almost impossible since he only gave 2 weeks notice, with God all things are possible. Not only they gave him a job, but they also gave him his old job with his old pay. WOW God is good and BIG.

I received other gifs from the Lord but my mental health was terrible. When I would get upset I would curl up in a fetal position and started to hurt myself  The Bible had become second in my life and God reminded me that when Toby was given his old job back. I spend many nights when Toby was sleeping in our living room in the first trailer crying out to the Lord on the floor in a lot of emotional and mental pain. GOD never left me. He will never leave you or forsake you.

After about 4 years in the new trailer, I wanted to move into a home and Toby started having promotions and more income. Again God gave us favor with the father that abandoned me and had no children from his marriage, bought us a prefab home. After a couple of years we found out we needed a new roof and the money was all gone. I am a spender (smiling)The more trouble I gave the Lord the more Grace and favor he would give us. Toby was able to build his bad credit sufficiently to start thinking about a house. We looked for a couple of months and we found this very pretty 3 bedroom home in Margate where I put my renter, I had one and thank God Toby remembered he might be able to get a   military Mortgage from us Government. To made a major step and moved in without any extra money in Savings, again favor. We now have lived 3 and half years in Margate and we borrow this home from the Lord, God knows if he ever decided to take it I would give it back to him in a heart bit because He is now FIRST again.in the last 11 years before my father died I went to Italy every year where I started planting seed in my parents and my real father’s heart about Jesus . I like to believe that my real father that I learned to love, and my mother are in heaven now because God loved them as well. I lost my blood father 10  years ago and my mom 10 months later I had grown to love my father and him loved me after getting to know me a little. me. He left me a lot of money which I spend all by giving a lot away and spending on stupid things besides buying new appliances and a new car. I blew all the money by giving my daughter 2 times money to help her and more money as well for vacationing for her and her family, gave to a little Church we started to go to and others. Also gave my stepfather money to take care of mom after her strokes. My mom while we lived in our prefab home, had  3 stroke s. I went again to Italy with my daughter to see her and that was the last time I saw her able to walk a little. I am not giving any more details Just want you to know I love my mother very much. My Father had passed away the year earlier. It was a very bad year but as usual again this time God held me close to him. I tried to put a long period of time in a short narrative but there is so much I did not talk about like my time in London as 15 years old to the time at 41 long trip to Alaska with my best friend before I stopped d dancing. This is all I will put in paper i hope someday.

Love you all.

Miracles always happened and I believe in Prayers.

Another Miracle. God knows I am not good with money and provided us when we moved into the prefab we bought thanks to HIS favor with my real father. Now, I am waiting on the Lord, has been 7 years since I saw my stepfather, But I am planning God Willing to go in March Or April.

After we moved into our home, somehow God brought us to CR and a few months later, I was told about the step class.

I finally found my home in this class where girls were kind to me and, where I truly found joy in going every Friday to talk and listen to the other girls talking by hangs ups a habit. I was drunk for a couple of years, I cannot say I am an alcoholic or did heavy drugs, mine were recreational as they say. The step study gave me the life I never had outside my 4 walls. God came through again and I am now preparing to help in a small group where I hope that by loving on them I can serve God and them by giving the Ladies all the love I can. God IS good. Wait o the Lord be of good courage and He shall strengthen your heart. Wait I say on the Lord Psalm 27.

I just want to close by saying that I am in love with Jesus my Lord and Savior.




P.S. this is and old post I Am now serving the Lord and people in different ways for the Church and found the peace and joy most days, in the HolySpirit. I stillhave “eisodes” now and then but the Father picks up the peaces and forgive my meaness as well as heals my soul.,


child of God.

4 thoughts on “I am sharing something about myself I am writing in a memoir. I need help from a Christian writer possibly. this is a tiny part.

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