Everyone who experiences the death of a loved one feels regrets. There are things you wish you had done and things you wish you hadn’t done.
Much of that is false guilt; you could not have known or done anything differently. And yet every human being has failed in some way. You may have truly caused your loved one pain and/or failed to stop pain you might have prevented.
The only way to deal with guilt—true guilt and false guilt—is to lay it on Jesus. He offers you real forgiveness. It’s too big for you to carry yourself.
Grief also sometimes comes with complicating circumstances such as homicide, suicide, medical malpractice, negligence, abuse, or other violence. Your pain may be especially deep.
It’s OK to feel angry, even perhaps angry at your loved one who died. And if others caused your loved one’s death, it’s right that they be held accountable through any legal means available.
But at some point you will need to face the matter of forgiveness.
Forgiveness does not mean it’s OK. It’s NOT OK! That is why forgiving is the only way to find release from the poison of bitterness.
Let God decide the consequences. At the right time, choose to let it go and to let Him handle it.