What letting go really means, and how you can achieve it before the new year begins.
Take a deep breath again as this time beckons reflection on the emotional and physical pain, or regrets we had over the last year. Past hurts, injustices, jealousies, broken relationships, along with the ebb and flow of life can knock the air out of anyone’s happiness balloon. We can recognize we made poor choices, or felt embarrassed by the one that mistreated you, and feel there is simply no justice.
We need a positive view of the future as we look forward. Yesterday will keep you hung up. While you’re stuck, you never see any happiness or progress. Find the way is hard Doctor Judith Sills offered in Psychology Today. She defined what letting go really means for us in life a New Year or not.
“It’s about breaking down emotional barriers, and allowing awareness to settle in when fighting against it. It means challenging irrational, unproductive thinking until you get your head on straight; it means facing up to your fear and then calling on your courage and your character to face it down, and it means confronting your passionate attachment to a past love and reducing it from a boulder to a pebble. Put the pebble in your pocket as a cherished reminder, and leave room in your heart for something new.”
If we want anything new we need to let go of the pain, or the person you believed you should be. I know it is really scary, we hate change due to the fear of the unknown, but if we don’t you will wake up one day feeling you missed out due to fear. Walking away from our comfort zone allows us to grab a hold of something new. Remind that you have a lot of blessings and “stop focusing on how unlucky you are, and remind yourself about how blessed you are, there is always that one other person or many other people who have it so much worse, Author Dr. Hyder Zahed wrote.
1. We need to stop being perfect, and expecting life to be perfect as there is no such thing. People disappoint. Relationships fails, money, and dreams disappear. We have no control over what others are doing or thinking. We have no control over circumstances. “When we stop expecting life to be perfect, for people to be the best they can be, we are no longer holding ourselves down with things that are out of our control, we have grown and matured enough to appreciate both life and the people in our lives for what and who they are.”
2. Let go of old thoughts and failed plans. If it is not working, change it up. Start with you. Write it down of things you need to discard in life. Bad influences, disorganization, or bad habits, can be taken care of one step at a time. Begin small—your nightstand drawer? “As you get into the spirit, the “keep” pile will shrink. Prepare to feel anxious, energized, sad, overwhelmed, regretful, and nostalgic. It doesn’t matter how you feel, as long as you keep discarding,” said Sills.
3. Forgive for you! Letting go is also forgiving your boss, co-worker, or anything that didn’t work out in your life. Start with you. Don’t allow it to poison your mind, and health.
4. Let go of the unknown. Moving forward into a new job or gig can be tricky, but you are in control of you. Passivity breeds depression, and stress. You fail? Oh, well!
5. If you are worrier—know your triggers of when you feel worry coming on.If people or browsing social media sites make you feel worried after you’re on them, stop it. Change your perspective, and this will also change the way the body reacts to the stress and worry.
6. Create a vision braids and keep new goals ahead of you. Dream up the word and post so you can remain focused to travel, or go back to school.
7. Stop limited thinking with negative self-talk. Stay focused on the positive, or you will make the “I can’t achieve this” into a reality.
8. I love this one on INC.com regarding avoidance, and confrontation in a healthy matter.
“If you’re avoiding the truth, you’re probably avoiding other things as well. Things rarely get better all on their own. Create a plan and face the things you need to face. You’ll ask yourself why you didn’t do it sooner.Corine Gatti is a Senior Editor at Beliefnet.com.