The temptation of any child of vocational Christian ministers is to see the work of the ministry as just another thing, just another religious occupation. Breaking through the wall of “public religion” must be the intense responsibility of the parent-minister if his or her children are to understand that this isn’t a business, a slick profession, or an entertainment arena where Mommy or Daddy puts on a performance.
The key word is authenticity. Not perfection, for no one gets it right all the time. But being real. Admit your faults, own them completely, ask for forgiveness, be quick to give it, allow children plenty of room to fail, and let them see you live your life behind the scenes with love, grace, and humor. All of that takes time and effort, both of which will cost you productivity on the job. Consider it a priceless sacrifice . . . a permanent investment.
Disintegrating families have parents who refuse to face the severity of their children’s actions. Eli knew how horrible his sons had become, yet did nothing! I’ve seen parents in such denial that they cannot bring themselves to admit that their child has a serious problem with drugs or pornography or sexual promiscuity or stealing—behavior that any other normal person would consider a red flag. Yet they act as though the crisis will resolve itself if given a little patience. Wrong.
If you have children who are young, you have children who are impressionable. That’s the time to make your most important investment in them. To wait until they’re as tall as you, you will have already allowed them to sow seeds of self-destruction.
If your children are nearly adults, take responsibility for your part in their poor choices, then do whatever is necessary to save them. Because you’ve waited so long, there are few options that don’t have grave consequences in the short term. So consider the long term, and do what you must. It is never too late to start doing what is right.
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