How is our house?
From God’s Word: “A house is built by wisdom and made strong by good judgment” (Proverbs 24: 3).
There are houses we never want to leave when we visit because we feel so good! It is not that those who live there are part of a perfect family, but that they have turned that place into a haven of peace.
Others, on the contrary, are on the “black list” and we only go when we have no other option. Being there rather reminds us of a battlefield where everyone is on their own flank waiting for the first bullet to be fired to begin the fight.
In which of the two groups will ours be?
Unfortunately, many times the destruction of a home comes from our own hands. And you may wonder how it is possible. Well, in many ways, some more subtle than others. One of them is the one that describes this passage of the Bible:
“It is better to live alone in the desert than with a wife who complains and seeks lawsuits.” (Proverbs 21:19)
When we have a complaining and troublemaking spirit, we are causing our home to shake. It is very difficult to live in the company of someone who constantly fights or complains. That is why this proverb says that it is better to live alone than with someone like that. I have to confess I have been guilty of this on more than one occasion. And I also recognize that it is not a pretty picture or worth looking at.
For starters, God hates complaint, as we mentioned a few days ago in this article. If you have any doubts, do a search of all the times that the word complaint appears in the Bible and you will see how many times God was upset with the people of Israel over this matter. You and I are often like them. The root of the complaint is largely ingratitude. But God tells us in his Word that whoever offers him gratitude honors him (Psalm 50:23). So the opposite is also true, when we are ungrateful, we dishonor God. Let’s stop being complaining women!
Our attitude greatly influences the rest of our family. Since we usually spend more time with our children, they will watch our behavior closely. If they see in us a person who lives grateful to God for his blessings, they will learn that way of life. If on the contrary they see in us constant dissatisfaction and complaint… guess what they will become when they are adults? Exact! Our example will be much better than a thousand sermons.
Second, we destroy the home when we don’t promote peace. Another proverb supports this point:
“Better to eat stale bread where peace reigns, than to live in a house full of banquets where there is fights” (Proverbs 17: 1).
What can we do to bring peace to our home? Let’s start by praying for our family every day, each of its members. Make a list if you think that would help you. Second, let’s be lavish in giving words of encouragement and love, in showing smiles and paying attention. If we analyze it, each of these things is a small act in itself, but the result it produces is great. And one last point, let’s analyze if what I am really looking for with “my lawsuit” is a solution or simply being right. In the case of the latter, even if we supposedly win, we will very seldom feel happy because the trail we left was painful. So the loss will be greater than the gain.
I ask you two questions to ponder:
What is the foundation of your home? If you are not sure, read Luke 6: 46-49 and analyze.
If someone were to “classify” you, would they say that you are a grumpy and complaining woman, or a woman who seeks the peace of her home?
God designed something beautiful for the family, and that is why his Word is full of advice and guidelines on the subject. It is up to us whether we are going to follow them or not. [What you read today is part of my book “A Wise Woman” where we explore several of those principles. If you don’t have it yet, you can buy your copy here .]