I went to Italy Hoping to make my father happy and see how he is doing at 80 years old.
I relived my for the most part bad childhood and as I am going through all this pain, I realize that God His Healing that Old Old Pain.
Wow God is good and my earthly father is off his pedestal now. I am healed from whatever kept me suffering for him. I will still call him but less often and there is NOTHING he can say anymore that can hurt me. The last stab in my heart was when I heard him say the day before I left,: ” I can’t wait until you leave” I forgave him. He will apologize but that was the last pain he inflicted on me. I thank God for the few good days we had, the rest it the enemy and my father is not saved, does not believe in any god not really and Atheists more like agnostic
Well, That was my trip, all the joy we both I thought we would feel was just in my imagination and it was worse than before my mom died. At least mom was trying to defend me from the evilness of his words. I Planted seeds every year about the LOrd when I was going to visit my real father and Him and mom, the father, the one that raised me and…. whatever.
God loves me and I know he is pleased I forgave him again about this pain
His, younger girlfriend once cried with me in my room and said to me that she could not live like that if he lost his temper with her. I hope they make it. He needs someone but pushes everyone out of his life. I will not abandon him but I am ready for anything now because my Father in Heaven is my protector. The “No More Pain” is starting now with a lesser sensitivity to those who hurt me on purpose like my father did.
Well, this is another small window, a tiny one of my life. JESUS ALWAYS WINS.
Hand on to Him no Matter What. He will see you through everything and anything. He did it for me as I have been, WAS, LOL mentally ill since I was a very little girl 5 or 6years old maybe even younger. That is why the nuns used to tie me to the big table at play time. I was very Hyper.
GOD LOVES ME THE WAY I AM.
Thank YOU JESUS!,