Guests of my life, you have come in the early dawn of the morning; and you have stayed with me until the night passes. Your name was uttered to me by all the Spring flowers I view, and also by the blessed showers of rain you bring into my days. You have brought the harp of Thanksgiving into my house, and you have brought the lamp of God’s loving presence unto me. When I view the crystal prism of the Rainbow Maker affixed to my window I see, when the Son-shine of Jesus Christ comes into my Living Room: actual Angels are then, to me, dancing around the room. And after you had taken your leave of the room; I have found God’s footprints on the floor. How can I possibly thank you all enough for just being a friend? someone who really, truly cares. When the Lemon drops of troubles make things a bitter experience to bear, or that cough drop (Cherry flavored) has to completely dissolve in your mouth before you can go about your business of living; then maybe all the very real intense aches and pains that suddenly shoot throughout your body are but imaginary, gas pains or Kidney malfunctioning reactions to medications. Yet, miraculously you smile your prayers for me and others to Our Heavenly Father, the Goodness Itself, and all is well. My Lord and Savior Jesus, even when blood comes out of me, or I find I can’t take another day; Your Children who I have met by Your hand and divine happenstance make my days worthwhile. I am lost to my own, very lonely little world without them. But then, I, like them HAVE YOU! Without you there are sorrows innumerable. I don’t know, we don’t know, how to cope. We ALL without exception need you. Without you, whether we choose to admit such or not; We don’t have the strength to be ourselves. We just are not capable of directing our own lives. Thank you for being YOU! With all my love always. Amen.
Suffering is the same as happiness, as joy; but just distorted and made traumatic by the limited mind. ~ Timothy Baugh
Well friends, my pain is continuing. If you had read Part One, then Part Two is my continued (perhaps idiotic) faith in God to get me through my intense physical pain. Why am I telling you this? Perhaps to show you the miraculous at work in one’s life. Or, perhaps to prove to myself that all those who like my posts, really only like Pat Veen’s blog, and their thought “that was awesome” comment was directed towards HER and not TOWARDS ME! Whatever. I could care less who really gets the glory. Just like YOU PROBABLY DON’T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT ME. What does it matter, right?! I’m just your typical hypochondriac anyway, right? No need to bother with me. I can always, without fail, drive myself to an Emergency Room/Urgent Care IF I want to. But I fear. Is that rational or irrational? I do not wish to go. I do not wish to leave the care of my dog in someone else’s hands. I do not wish to see her EVER abused by others. I do not wish to put up with a lack of say so when Doctors, and well-meaning hospital staff take matters ‘into their own hands’ so to speak. I don’t wish to subject myself to the indignity of being stripped, forced, or humiliated in any way. I do not wish to have to have uncomfortable tests and procedures done. I don’t wish to give up my control to anyone or anything that may end my Life rather than prolong it! So, does this make me the “ultimate coward”? does not facing Life and Responsibilities make me a wimp? Do I care so much about what others DO THINK AND FEEL that I am petrified to act at all? O, God help me if I can’t help myself! I want God to HELP ME. Does He REALLY!!! Or am I left to stew in my own indecision. (By the way, am I even aware of how difficult this colored printing is making it for you to read this?) Is that better? Perhaps, with my eyesight failing too so that I can not drive at night; driving glasses are needed. Anyhow… this is how it is for me. How about you? You see, I really do care more about others than about myself as a Christian, a true follower of Jesus Christ. What does it really matter if I die, right? I have that absolute assurance that I will live FOREVER. And that much in, PERFECT HEALTH! I won’t ever be in pain, illness, sickness, or disease either! Is that better or worse than what I am currently experiencing? I will leave that for you to decide. Does it seem to you that I am just a very depressed, negative, and pessimistic person who can’t cope with Life and it’s Challenges? I think so at times. But then we all can get ‘down’, and feel so very hopeless at times. I like hope. Hope is fresh and living, and alive. Hope is the only thing I, you, or anyone has to hold on to. Jesus knew this. He had no assurance other than God’s Word within his very heart and spirit that it was so. He never gave up. Nor should I. I would, were it not for Him. I think you realize that too about yourself, me, and others. Dear Lord God Jesus Christ, I truly do love you with all of my being, and with all of my heart. Pain or no pain, it is nothing in comparison to what You endured on the cross of Calvary for my sins. That much, would keep any man, woman, or child awake all night long. Any fear I would have of making any Life-threatening decisions is alleviated by my complete and utter trust in You for all things concerning my Life. Life is so much better when I place it in Your hands, not mine. Those people and things that frustrate me so are eliminated when I rest in You. Even gloomy days suddenly are bright and sunny, happy days when I live in your presence. Nothing and nobody can give me a better lot in Life; since it is not granted to them to make it what YOU ALONE WILL. They can say their words to cut me down, just like they tried to destroy you. But we will rise again! We, your Children will never be defeated by an unseen enemy that seeks to destroy us. Not everyone knows just what that enemy is. I may not know, but then I don’t need to. Keep us safe from all harm. We love you. Amen.